Confessions of a Formula Feeding Workin' Mama...

It seems like there are always two questions that I frequently get asked lately. "Are you breast-feeding?" and "Do you work?....Oh, I'm sorry!" Now, I can't be mad at anyone for asking me this, because I am guilty of asking these questions myself. I am just curious why it matters? But, lately I have been feeling a little guilty when I answer and I am not sure why. My answers are, no I do not breast-feed and yes I work full-time and put my child in a germy daycare(which it is not. I have a clean freak daycare lady). Anyway, one of these things is not by choice and the other is.

When Bridger was born, I never got the chance to have that moment right after birth to take the baby and lie with him and have him latch on for the first time. I actually did not even get to see Bridger for about 3 hours after he was born. Then he was put in the NICU and a feeding tube was put in him. By then the moment was gone and the chance for him to latch was over. It makes me so sad to think about it. After a couple days I worked with the lactation nurse to see if he would do it, but his little muscle tone was so weak, and he just did not have the energy, so I had no choice but to just pump and feed him with a bottle. The whole pumping thing was tough and it consumed my life. It seriously did. I walked around the house, pumping all day, doing dishes and everything. Sorry for the visual. After Bridger was about a month, he was just having a hard time digesting his milk and I was having a hard time even producing enough milk so we swithed to formula. He does so much better now and is such a happier baby. So this senario was not by choice.

One choice I do have is working. I love working. I love my job. I have a really good job that helps my family termendously finacially. Cooper was raised a daycare kid and he turned out great in my opinion. So why are you sorry? I am happy and my family is happy. So really, no problem at all. Ok, we are done with that one ;)

Dang, even after expaining it the guilt is still there.

I think maybe why I ask those questions is to reassure myself that I am ok. When I talk to another working mom, I feel an instant bond with them. So that is probably my reasoning. But bottom line as mother's, we are just doing the best that we know how. We are extremely hard on ourselves, but that is just our nature.

Read this article by Sheri Dew. After a tough weekend emotionally, this made me smile.